About 16 years ago, when my grandma was still alive, we sat together on the front deck of my parents' beach house. The sunlight reflected on her glasses in such a way that I could see a rather thick layer of grime and sea-spray coating each of the lenses. I asked my grandma if she'd like me to clean her glasses for her. She assured me that they were already clean and that she could see "perfectly well." Still, I persuaded her to let me give them a good wiping-down. When she put her glasses back on, her entire face lit up. She smiled, eyebrows lifted, and looked around with fresh eyes. Colors were more vibrant, shapes had cleaner edges, and, as she put it, she "felt lighter; freer."
Just like my grandma, we tend to move through our days convinced that we are seeing clearly.
We innocently believe that we are perceiving life as it is rather than how our mind is interpreting it through decades of conditioned filters and veils.
From the moment we’re born, the lenses through which we see the world are already accumulating wispy veils of distortion. Concepts and beliefs are added to us like invisible software programs to our innate factory-setting.
Learning happens. Conditioning happens. Beliefs from our families and the world around us are absorbed and taken as objective truth. No questions asked.
We don’t choose our veils, of course.
As infants, we did not choose parents who yelled over those who cuddled. As toddlers in pre-school, we did not choose thriving classrooms over dysfunctional ones. As teens, we did not choose whether we were praised or belittled.
Conditioning happened. Learning happened. Beliefs happened.
By the time we became adults, we were like fish in water. We were so accustomed to our filters and veils that we had no idea they were there. It never occurred to us that our years of conditioning had blurred the lines between what IS—and what is perceived to be—real and true.
And here's the thing about those gauzy little veils of distortion: They're so compelling that we fall into their trance without even knowing it.
Thoughts and beliefs such as "I should be better," or "Life should be different," or "If only I wasn’t like this" don't feel like stories or beliefs. They feel like reality. Those sneaky little invisible filters of judgment, shame, regret, and fear pass themselves off as an undeniable part of who-we-are.
So, we search for ways to be better. Thinner. More outgoing. Healthier. More successful. More reliable. More attractive. More athletic. Less awkward. Less anxious. Less obsessive. More spiritual. Less fearful.
We strive to protect ourselves—our futures, our images, and our concepts of who we are.
And we suffer.
By grace, we suffer.
The suffering is the wake-up.
It is the snap of the finger that releases us from the trance of our filtered lenses.
It is the opening to begin seeing again with fresh eyes; to return to our factory setting, before the world got its hands on us.
And it begins with a simple noticing of the mind's activity—its thoughts, stories, and judgments—without investing in it. Without identifying with it. Without attaching to it as if it somehow means somthing about us.
It's a return to presence—to what is real and true in THIS moment, free from stories. Free from past and future. Free from learned judgments. Free from conditioned concepts.
Just this.
This.
Now.
Here.
When we are present to what IS, the stories and judgments will begin to lose their appeal. They will organically become less enticing because the suffering we feel when we fall back into their trance will become a little louder and more persistent. (Thankfully)
It will stop making sense to stare at the mind's dramatic movies, no matter how compelling they once were. The filters and veils will begin to shimmer and dissolve, not because we fix them, but simply because we become less interested in them. We will find it easier to notice them without needing to do anything about them.
Seeing with fresh eyes is where deep, lasting change happens. It's where unwanted behaviors and patterns that have been held in place—often for decades—can begin to dissolve. It's where the peace and freedom that have always been there can be sensed more readily.
There is a sweetness in being open to what is here, now, in the great and wonderful mystery of Life, untouched by the filtered interpretations of the mind.
There is an inexplicable trust—an exquisite surrender—to what is stable, timeless, and unchanging beyond the grasp of our adorable little mind.
When our stories no longer captivate us, the freedom that we are begins to reveal itself. And just like my grandma, 16 years ago, we begin to feel lighter. Freer. More like who-we-really-are.
If you'd like to learn more about experiencing the energy of raw emotion, free from the stories your mind loves to tell, check out my video called, "When Everything is Going Wrong" on YouTube.
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